I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
