Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
