i permit you to call me
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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