they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
