you would pick up someone in the library
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
