You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
The uberlube is also flammable
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
