These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
