I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
