You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
