my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Randomize
