i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
