Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She's JV to your varsity
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
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