hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
