we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
