Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
And then he peed in my hair
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