i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
