"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm bleeding and have questions
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
