thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
