So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
