He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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