Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
