Sponge bath it is.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
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