I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize
