im about as happy as oj after his trial
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
