okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
