two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
