Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
