its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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