No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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