dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
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