a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
