sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
