new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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