Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
