Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
