where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
