seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
