He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
