Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Come see our sink grown plant.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
