he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
