Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
