YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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