I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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