the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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