that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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