I feel great
I just peed on a car
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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