well I can't set my house on fire every night
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
