Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
