How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
