hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
