Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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