It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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