who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
