I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
What drink are we having for lunch?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Randomize
