we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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